I have no idea.

January 8, 2012 at 10:55 am Leave a comment

So, 2011 was a long year. A difficult year, one where I learnt so many things about myself, not all of them good, but all of them have made me who I am today *insert cheesy song here*.

This year, I hope to learn more about who I am as a person. I have struggled for most of my life with the ideal that in order to be ‘popular’ or to have friends, I simply need to become who others want me to be. To subscribe to their beliefs, to act like them, to do what they ask of me or tell me to do. This attitude, unsurprisingly, has led to a lot of toxic friendships in my life. It is my goal for this year (I use the word ‘goals’ rather than ‘resolutions’ – I’ll explain later) to cut these friendships out of my life, or to assert myself in these relationships to the point where I am no longer the ‘doormat’, for lack of a better word.

If I’m going to be completely honest here, 2012 hasn’t started fantastically. I just moved to another state for work, and being away from my family, friends and everything that I am used to has really taken a toll on me, food wise and mentally. As you may remember from my past posts, around October I was finally starting to curb the bingeing, and it had gotten to a point where I was barely bingeing at all. This all changed once I moved up here, where I have slipped up big time, and have definitely resorted to some old behaviours. I won’t go into much detail except to say that I am so angry with myself. And, worst of all, I feel guilty. Guilty that I have gone back to this, guilty that I have slipped up, and guilty that I am so angry with myself for ruining everything.

I really want to get back on track, hence why I am posting this. I am such a sporadic blogger, but I really need support right now. I know, a little bit hypocritical seeing as I am never here, but I feel safe here.

Anyway, in my attempts at getting back on track, here are some new year goals. As said above, I prefer goals as opposed to resolutions, because in my opinion resolutions tend to be broken within the first few weeks, but goals seem to have more staying power (excuse me if that makes no sense, it’s 9pm on a Sunday night and my brain is a little bit frazzled).

Goals for 2012

– Exercise at least twice a week

– Try and curb the bingeing as much as possible

– Be more assertive (positively so) in relationships/friendships

– Be more positive in general šŸ™‚

Thank you, if you read this post. You deserve a medal if you made it to the end!!

Love you all.

A x

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Vegan MoFo: Saturday brunch In limbo, or ‘how to eat healthy whilst living in a hotel room’.

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